We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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