I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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