dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
