The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Randomize
