So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
