I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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