I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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