Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
