just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
