Me too!
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
