We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
