im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
