why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
