Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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