In America we eat man semen.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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