**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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