Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
