And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
