I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
