Just fell off a train. Bad.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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