32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
