dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
