duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
ttyl tear gas
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
