Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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