I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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