he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
