So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
We named our party play list daddy issues
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
