I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
