My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
The best revenge is premature balding
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
