Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
