I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
