I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
