Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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