He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Everclear isn't food dammit
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Randomize
