So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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