I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
