So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
