Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
50% drunk capacity currently
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize