nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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