I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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