It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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