I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
