Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
