she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
