If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
