if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Randomize