just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
