About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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