if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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