im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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