real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
