I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
