he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize