when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
