Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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