Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
