He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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