I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
false alarm, still single
Randomize
