i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
