This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
