happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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